Review: Where I Belong

By Mary Downing Hahn
Available now from Clarion Books (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt)
Review copy

Mary Downing Hahn was one of my favorite authors in elementary school, so I like to keep up with what she's putting out. WHERE I BELONG reminds me of STEPPING ON THE CRACKS, one of my personal favorites.  Both books have misfits coming together, bullying, and subplots about the effects of war.

Protagonist Brendan is a dreamy boy who failed sixth grade because he spent all his time in class drawing instead of doing his work.  Neither his teacher nor his foster mother know how to connect to him.  But in summer school, he makes a friend, Shea.  After school, he finds the perfect tree to build a tree house.   And there he meets the Green Man.

Brendan's real problem isn't his focus on art or his lack of attention to his other studies, but his lack of self esteem.  He's been passed around from home to home since he was born, and thinks that no one loves him, especially not his current foster mother Mrs. Clancey.  He thinks he's a constant disappointment to her and nothing but the source of a check.  When Shea reaches out to him, he's afraid to even attempt to make friends.  The only person Brendan can open up to about everything he's keeping inside is the Green Man, because the Green Man doesn't live in the real world of worries about the future and money and everything Brendan doesn't want to think about.

The bullying in WHERE I BELONG is intense.  There's a group of troublemakers that run about stealing and otherwise making trouble and Brendan often finds himself in their crosshairs due to his long hair.  Hahn is capable of nuanced bullies, but these boys are presented as just bad.  But really, the story is about Brendan, and he is so wonderfully drawn that I can forgive that flaw in the novel.

Brendan's voice is absorbing and poignant.  He is so down on himself, but so open to the magic in the world.  His journey to forging new connections, making friends and finding his place, is beautiful.  WHERE I BELONG isn't quite Hahn at her best, but it is a beautifully written story about a damaged, bullied boy finding his inner strength.  There's a sudden tragedy and other elements that push WHERE I BELONG a little toward the treacly side, but it just manages to stay on the right side of that line.

Best Vampire Book You Aren't Reading: Look for Me by Moonlight

Mary Downing Hahn has written multiple classics of children's literature. She managed to do this without writing many books in respectable genres like wartime historicals (STEPPING ON THE CRACKS). In fact her most famous books are ghost stories (WAIT TILL HELEN COMES, TIME FOR ANDREW) and mysteries (THE DEAD MAN IN INDIAN CREEK).

Note: If you didn't know the above books existed, you now do. You have no excuse for leaving them unread.




Despite the fact all of Hahn's books are worth reading, not all of them can win awards. This is the way life works. For instance, LOOK FOR ME BY MOONLIGHT has never won an award. Yet LOOK FOR ME BY MOONLIGHT is due for a comeback, since it was a vampire story for teen girls before vampire stories for teen girls became homogenized and saturated the market.

You can read a lengthy excerpt here, on the Houghton Mifflin site. Cynda and her brother Todd are staying with their father at his inn in the north. There are a variety of guests, but Cynda is drawn to one in particular. They meet in secret, signaling each other through clever use of Scrabble.

Then things go terribly wrong because this is a vampire story. A good vampire story.

This was one of my favorite books in elementary school, and no matter what you think of little kids, I had good taste back then.