Guest Post: 12 Ideas to Help Harness the Power and Magic of Hugs

Laura Duksta, author of I'LL HUG YOU MORE, has a special message to share for National Hug Day.

Where are My Huggers At? 12 Ideas to Help Harness the Power and Magic of HUGS 

1. HUGS... wondering what you can do to foster healthy self-esteem in your children, HUG THEM, it creates a sense of connection and belonging which they’ll take with them into the classroom and out into the world.

2. HUGS allow us to love and to be loved, and to feel connected, some say these are the reasons for our existence.

3. HUGS can shift our energy. An upset child can often be comforted by taking a few deep breaths, meeting them at their height and offering a hug until their upset subsides. This works the other way too, a child often senses when you’re upset, let them come in and give you a hug. Hugs can remind us what’s important and help us regain perspective.

4. HUGS can express empathy, by saying “I’m with you,” “I understand what you’re going through,” “We’re in this together,” “You matter,” “I’m here for you.”

5. HUGS heal. Researchers have only scratched the surface in studying the heart’s electromagnetic waves. When we connect in a heart to heart hug there’s a chance were harnessing the most powerful ‘medicine’ of all.

6. HUGS can help put a smile on our face as well as our heart. As a friend shared, “Hugs make me smile on the inside and out.”

7. HUGS help generate oxytocin which reduces stress producing hormones. Hugs also release dopamine which give us a feel good feeling and helps to motivate us.

8. HUGS ... a healthy dose, says family therapist Virginia Satir, “We need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance, and twelve hugs a day for growth.”

9. HUGS are a one powerful way to experience the healing and nurturing power of touch, but there are others, consider a mani/pedi or a massage. Not quite ready for human touch, test out the power and magic found in hugging a tree!

10. HUGS are perfect by design. We live in a universe of duality where we have support and challenge, happiness and sadness, health and sickness, winning and losing, though experiencing these things at different times often knocks us off balance. A HUG is the perfect gift where we share the power of giving and receiving simultaneously.

11. HUGS connect us soul to soul. They’re a universal language we all can understand.

12. HUGS can say “Hello” and “Good-Bye,” “I’ll Miss You,” “Thank You,” “I’m Sorry,” and more, and underneath it all every hug says “I love you.”

13. HUGS BONUS .... your biggest benefits will come from 20 second HUGS, so extend your heart and your arms, take your time and make it count!

Jeff Strand's Top Five Zombie Movies (+ Giveaway)

Jeff Strand is gearing up for the release of THE GREATEST ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER on March 1st with a sneak peek of the book and a giveaway of an advanced copy, as well as a list of his top five zombie movies.

Jeff Strand’s Five Favorite Zombie Movies: 

My five favorite zombie movies are very similar to many other people’s five favorite zombie movies. I could’ve gone the condescending click-bait route and written about “The Five Best Zombie Movies You’ve Never Seen!” but, no, I’m going with my five real favorites….

#5: DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004 version). I was one of the many people bellowing, “You can’t remake DAWN OF THE DEAD! This is blasphemy! Blasphemy!!!” But somehow this remake to a sequel (but not a sequel to the remake) turned out to be awesome. Not quite as good as the original (SPOILER ALERT: That’s #3 on this list) but one of my all-time favorites.

#4: RE-ANIMATOR. I’ve now seen plenty of movies that are more over-the-top insane than RE-ANIMATOR, but this was the first movie where I simply couldn’t believe what I was watching. It was hard to believe that a movie so dark and gruesome could be so funny.

 #3: DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978 version). Shameful confession: When I first saw this in high school I thought it was stupid and boring. Fortunately, I matured and accepted that it’s one of the high points of zombie cinema. It’s the reason I know to duck before walking toward spinning helicopter blades.

#2: RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. Fast zombies long before 28 DAYS LATER! The first time zombies ate brains! It doesn’t often get the credit it deserves, but this is one of the most influential zombie movies ever.

 #1: SHAUN OF THE DEAD. The greatest zombie comedy ever. The greatest zombie movie ever. The greatest MOVIE ever.

About THE GREATEST ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER: 

After producing three horror movies that went mostly ignored on YouTube, Justin and his filmmaking buddies decide it’s time they create something noteworthy, something epic. They’re going to film the Greatest Zombie Movie Ever. They may not have money or a script, but they have passion. And, after a rash text message, they also have the beautiful Alicia Howtz—Justin’s crush—as the lead.

With only one month to complete their movie, a script that can’t possibly get worse, and the hopes and dreams of Alicia on the line, Justin is feeling the pressure. Add to that a cast of uncooperative extras and incompetent production assistants, and Justin must face the sad, sad truth. He may actually be producing The Worst Zombie Movie Ever…

Excerpt from THE GREATEST ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER:

The vampire, whose fangs were too big for his mouth, turned to the camera and hissed.

Alis Franklin on Women in Fantasy Novels

Alis Franklin is the author of Liesmith (my review) and the recently released Stormbringer (my review). Both are modern takes on Norse mythology.  This Australian author is guest-blogging today to share how she became alienated from fantasy novels and how she found her way back.

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I was fifteen when I stopped reading fantasy novels.

I remember the book that killed my interest. I'm not going to name it, only to say it's considered one of the greats of the genre. My father had loaned it to me, the book pulled from his wall-to-wall collection of battered SFF paperbacks after I'd asked him for something to read. Something for "grown ups" (this was in the mid-90s or so, before the YA boom filled in that transitional gap between growing and grown). He took Famous Fantasy Novel from its shelf, and handed it to me. "Read this," he said. "It's a classic."

I didn't make it through the first fifty pages.

"It starts slow," Dad said. "Stick with it."

But I wasn't worried about it starting slow. I worried about it starting wrong. I worried about it starting as a story of a farmboy and his farmboy friends, and the One Girl In The Village.

I worried about the fact I hated that girl. At the time, I didn't know how to put my revulsion into words. She was… annoying. Her sole purpose seemed to be to taunt and tease the boys with her "girlishness". She had no power outside of what the story bequeathed her for her connection to the male protagonist and his male friends. I could tell they were destined for greatness. Her? Destined to be a wife, I guess. Or a victim.

As a teenager, I didn't want to be a wife, or a victim, and I didn't want to bat my eyelashes and swing my hips and nag boys into doing things for me. I wanted to do them for myself. And, more importantly, I realized I didn't want to put up with reading a thousand pages of boys getting to have fun while I didn't. Not again.

I gave the book back to my dad in disgust. And then I did something terrible. Something I'm sure a lot of girls my age have done.

I blamed that female character for my dislike. If it was her "feminine" behaviors that put me off, her "femaleness" that prevented her from engaging in the story in the way I would have wanted to engage... If it was all that, then what else was to blame but the very idea of being female itself? This, then, was the start of my Not Like Other Girls phase.

Maybe I'm being a little unfair to Famous Fantasy Novel. It might be the first book I remember rejecting for its portrayal of a female character, but it was by no means the first book--or the first piece of media--where I'd encountered a female character I couldn't stand. And always, every time, I blamed my disconnect those fictional girls and women, and, by extension, I blamed real life women, too.

It wasn't until I was much, much older that it occurred to me that every female character I couldn't stand, without fail, had been written by a man. It wasn’t femininity or femaleness I was rejecting; it was a male-perceived version of it. One that didn't mesh with my own experience.

It took other women to bring about the realization. Talking to them both as fans, critical of the texts we were consuming, and as content creators, often in the long weeds of the early internet, outside the trimmed lawns of mainstream pop culture.

Thirty years of bad characters and misplaced blame is a lot to unlearn, but I'm trying. Slowly. Mostly by attempting to consume more media created by--and, importantly, for--women. Media that's inclusive of all kinds of women, no matter their shape or size or interests, no matter their color or sexuality or ability. Women who kick ass and take names, sure, but also the rest of them; the quiet mothers, the supportive friends, the awkward losers. I want their adventures, their stories, their epic quests.

Stormbringer is, in part, my contribution to that journey. More so than its urban predecessor, Stormbringer is a fantasy novel. And while it takes tropes and conventions from the male-written sword and sorcery I wanted to love as a teen, I've tried to rewrite it into the story I would've wanted to read as a teen. A story with all kinds of women; the warrior, the strategist, the queen, the mother, and, yes, the bride-to-be. They are the drivers or the plot, the keepers of the action, much more than the story's male narrators, who are more often than not there merely to observe the outcomes of female agency.

It is, of course, not the be-all and end-all of the Heroine's Journey in epic fantasy; not the last word on female representation. But it's a word; a book with women, written to try and appeal, if not to women in general, but one woman in particular, a.k.a. yours truly, age fifteen.

It's not enough. But it's something.

Katie McGarry: Meet Oz

Katie McGarry, author of the critically acclaimed Pushing the Limits series has gone all in with the Thunder Road series, imbedding herself with a motorcycle club in Kentucky, and using that experience to make Reign of Terror as realistic as possible. Oz rises up as one of the new literary hunks to watch out for – teens will be swooning for him as soon as they meet him. And Katie, known for her realistic portrayal of teen troubles and romance, hits it out of the park with NOWHERE BUT HERE – making her approachable and open to teens when she does school visits across the US.

Be sure to register your purchase of NOWHERE BUT HERE by June 28 to get CHASING IMPOSSIBLE for free.  CHASING IMPOSSIBLE is about Abby from PUSHING THE LIMITS and only available through this offer.

“Run as fast as you can, Emily.” Violet eyes me in a way that suggests she knows more than she should. “From what I’ve heard, some members of Oz’s club are okay with homicide.”
Emily stiffens beside me and my fingers flex on the steering wheel. I should have let Violet rot in the summer sun. She’s lying, but Emily isn’t aware of that. “You know that’s not true.”
Violet’s been hanging with those full-of-themselves snob kids at school who think the Terror is the devil’s playground. Can’t stop haters from hating, but it hurts like hell when one of our own begins to spew the lies.
--From NOWHERE BUT HERE

Oz, an eighteen-year-old main character from my newest young adult novel, NOWHERE BUT HERE, is definitely a bad boy.

He’s a child of the Reign of Terror Motorcycle Club. He rides a motorcycle, wears a black leather riding jacket and combat boots, carries a knife on his hip, doesn’t mind getting into a fight when the moment calls for someone to step in and he has a tendency to be a jerk when provoked, but he’s so much more than that.

But Oz has a hard time convincing people outside the club of this. Even though he’s a lifeguard during the summer, a referee for a little kids’ flag football team, and sits night after night at the bedside of the woman who is stricken with cancer, Oz is seen as a menace.

Oz fights the same perception that other members of the Reign of Terror Motorcycle Club face. The assumption that being a member of an MC makes one a thug, a gangster, a criminal.

What the world doesn’t understand? The majority of motorcycle clubs are legit clubs—meaning they don’t participate in illegal activities. They may play by their own rules, but they do their best to be law- abiding citizens.

How do I know this? I hung out with a motorcycle club to gain inspiration for my new Thunder Road series. I knew I couldn’t write books about teens being raised in this world unless I had firsthand understanding of what their lives might be like. And I learned that, yes, MCs are definitely rough and tumble and not for the faint of heart. With the club I hung out with, the parties are wild, their jokes and language often crude, but they are not the criminals that most people believe them to be.

One of the first things I was told by the president of the club’s chapter was that they don’t run guns, drugs or woman (translation: they don’t illegally sell guns, don’t deal drugs and aren’t involved in prostitution)— the three big illegal activities people assume MCs take part in. During the course of my research, I met many of the club’s members. They were great guys who work normal jobs like the rest of us. I met mechanics and people in finance and factory workers and yes, I met people who were high up in the food chain in corporations. And a lot of the guys I met? They were veterans. They fought on foreign soil for the United States of America.

These men were fascinating and fun and had great, kind souls. They were rough and strong and loyal. They were a brotherhood and I respected them for that. I also respected them when they asked for anonymity. They asked me not to name their club or use their real names. Because of the perception outsiders have of MCs, some members knew their jobs could be at risk if their membership became public knowledge. They knew that people would treat them differently. I heard stories of how someone’s decision to be in a legit MC had torn families apart and this made me terribly sad.

Oz, like the men I met over the course of my research, is so much more than the sum of people’s assumptions. Like the men I met, he is strong, loyal and loving. But don’t take my word for it. Read NOWHERE BUT HERE and meet Oz for yourself. I hope you’ll fall for him every bit as much as I did.

Guest Blog: 10 Most Memorable Moms in New Fiction

By Andrea Lochen

What better time of year than Mother’s Day to showcase some of the most memorable fictional mothers in some of the best new novels? From loving, supportive mothers to complex, trailblazing mothers to selfish, vindictive mothers, this list has it all!

1) The Perfect Son by Barbara Claypole White (Lake Union, July 2015)

Ella Fitzwilliam, the mom in THE PERFECT SON, quit a successful career in jewelry design to be full-time parent, mental health coach, and advocate for her son, Harry, who has a soup of issues that include Tourette syndrome. She has devoted 17 years of her life to his therapy, to educating teachers, to being Harry’s emotional rock and giving him the confidence he needs to be Harry. Thanks to her, Harry is comfortable in his own skin, even when people stare. After Ella has a major heart attack in the opening chapter, her love for Harry tethers her to life. But as she recovers, she discovers the hardest parenting lesson of all: to let go.

2) Rodin’s Lover by Heather Webb (Plume, January 2015)

In RODIN’S LOVER, Camille’s mother, Louise Claudel, is spiteful, jealous, and disapproving of Camille’s pursuit to become a female sculptor in the 1880s. She also shows signs of mental illness. Because of this relationship, Camille struggles with all of her female relationships the rest of her life, and ultimately, to prove to her mother that she’s truly talented.

3) Imaginary Things by Andrea Lochen (Ed: our guest blogger) (Astor + Blue Editions, April 2015)

 In IMAGINARY THINGS, young single mother Anna Jennings has a unique power that most parents only dream of—the ability to see her four-year-old son’s imagination come to life. But when David’s imaginary friends turn dark and threatening, Anna must learn the rules of this bizarre phenomenon, what his friends truly represent, and how best to protect him.

4) The Magician’s Lie by Greer Macallister (Sourcebooks, January 2015)

 In THE MAGICIAN'S LIE, Arden's mother is remarkable both for what she does and what she doesn't do. As a young woman, she bears a child out of wedlock and runs away with her music teacher, never fearing the consequences. But later in life, her nerve fails her—just when her daughter needs her most.

5) Five Days Left by Julie Lawson Timmer (Putnam, 2014)

 In FIVE DAYS LEFT, Mara Nichols is, in some ways, a typical mother: she loves her daughter fiercely, thinks about her constantly and goes to great lengths to balance her high-stress legal career with her daughter’s needs. But there are two ways in which Mara isn't typical at all. First, she adopted her daughter from India, making good on a lifelong promise to rescue a baby from the same orphanage where Mara herself lived decades ago. And second, when Mara is diagnosed with a fatal, incurable illness that will render her unable to walk, talk or even feed herself, she has to make the kind of parenting choice none of us wants to consider—would my child be better off if I were no longer alive?

6) House Broken by Sonja Yoerg (Penguin/NAL, January 2015)

 In HOUSE BROKEN, Helen Riley has a habit of leaving her grown children to cope with her vodka-fueled disasters. She has her reasons, but they’re buried deep, and stem from secrets too painful to remember and, perhaps, too terrible to forgive.

7) You Were Meant for Me by Yona Zeldis McDonough (Penguin/NAL, 2014)

 In YOU WERE MEANT FOR ME, having a baby is the furthest thing from Miranda Berenzweig’s mind. She’s newly single after a bad break up, and focused on her promotion at work, her friends and getting her life back on track. Then one frigid March night she finds a newborn infant in a NYC subway and even after taking the baby to the police, can’t get the baby out of her mind. At the suggestion of the family court judge assigned to the case, Miranda begins adoption proceedings. But her plans—as well as her hopes and dreams—are derailed when the baby’s biological father surfaces, wanting to claim his child. The way she handles this unforeseen turn of events is what makes Miranda a truly memorable mother.

8) The Far End of Happy by Kathryn Craft (Sourcebooks Landmark, May 2015)

In THE FAR END OF HAPPY, Ronnie has hung in there as long as she can during her husband's decline into depression, spending issues, and alcoholism and he will not accept her attempts to get him professional help. She is not a leaver, but can't bear for her sons to witness the further deterioration of the marriage. She determines to divorce—and on the day he has promised to move out, he instead arms himself, holes up inside a building on the property, and stands off against police. When late in the day the police ask Ronnie if she’ll appeal to him one last time over the bullhorn, she must decide: with the stakes so high, will she try one last time to save her husband’s life? Or will her need to protect her sons and her own growing sense of self win out?

9) Your Perfect Life by Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke (Washington Square Press, 2014)

In YOUR PERFECT LIFE, long-time friends, Rachel and Casey wake up the morning after their twenty year high school reunion to discover they’ve switched bodies. Casey is single with no children before becoming an instant mom to Rachel’s two teenagers and baby. Despite her lack of experience as a parent, and her often comedic missteps with the baby in particular (think: diaper blow outs and sudden sleep deprivation) Casey’s fresh perspective on her new role helps her connect with each of the children in a very different way than Rachel. And when the oldest, Audrey, is almost date raped at her prom, it is Casey’s strength that she draws from an experience in her own past that ultimately pulls Audrey through. Although it is hard for Rachel to watch her best friend take care of Audrey when she so desperately wants to, she realizes that Casey can help her daughter in a way she can’t. And Casey discovers she might have what it takes to be a mom to her own children someday.

10) The Life List by Lori Nelson Spielman (Bantam, 2013)

Elizabeth Bohlinger, the mother in THE LIFE LIST, is actually deceased. But she still has a big presence in her daughter's life—some may say too big! With heartfelt letters, Elizabeth guides her daughter, Brett, on a journey to complete the life list of wishes Brett made when she was just a teen. Like many mothers, Elizabeth has an uncanny ability to see into her daughter's heart, exposing buried desires Brett has long forgotten.

Andrea Lochen is a University of Michigan MFA graduate. Her first novel, The Repeat Year (Berkley, 2013), won a Hopwood Award for the Novel prior to its publication. She has served as fiction editor of The Madison Review and taught writing at the University of Michigan. She currently teaches at the University of Wisconsin-Waukesha, where she was recently awarded UW Colleges Chancellor's Award for Excellence in Teaching. Her second novel, Imaginary Things (Astor + Blue Editions, 2015) is recently released and has garnered wonderful praise. With features on Barnes & Noble.com, Huffington Post, and Brit + Co., her work is being introduced to thousands of new readers. Andrea currently lives in Madison with her husband and daughter and is at work on her third novel. For more information visit www.andrealochen.com.

Jody Gehrman's Message in a Bottle

Jody Gehrman is the author of THE TRUTH ABOUT JACK as well as nine other novels and numerous award-winning plays.  She currently lives in Northern California and is a professor of English and Communication Studies.  Today she dropped by my blog to share her story of the strangest letter she's ever written.

Dakota McCloud, the heroine of THE TRUTH ABOUT JACK, finds love after writing a message in a bottle and throwing it into the ocean.

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The strangest letter I’ve ever written also happens to be my favorite message in a bottle story. When I was in the third grade, my family moved from California to Vancouver Island, British Columbia for a year. I made a wonderful friend up there: Kristen Alexander. Kristen, if you’re out there, send me a message! Anyway, my best friend Kristen and I decided to write a letter and launch it in a bottle. I remember my dad helping us throw it really far, to be sure it would catch the currents. My dad was a fisherman, so he knew about these things. The sunset was all violet wisps and burning apricots. I remember watching the bottle get swallowed by the sea, feeling all hopeful and excited.

A few weeks later, we’d all but forgotten about it. We were eight, after all. Out of the blue we got a massive envelope. Inside were like thirty letters, all written from third graders. A teacher from one of the nearby islands had found it, and had her entire class write to us.

It was so magical. I think that’s when I decided to be a writer.

Hannah Jayne: I Was a Teenage Statistic (plus a deal alert!)

Hannah Jayne's new novel TRULY, MADLY, DEADLY is a daily deal from Amazon today. For just $1.99, you can own this thriller - a true bargain, considering the book just came out in July. (Click on the cover to the left to go to Amazon.)

Here's what the publisher has to say about it:

Truly Madly Deadly is an edge-of-your-seat thriller about love, obsession and murder. Sawyer Dodd has it all. She’s a star track athlete, choir soloist, and A-student. And her boyfriend is the handsome all-star Kevin Anderson. But behind the medals, prom pictures, and perfect smiles, Sawyer finds herself trapped in a controlling, abusive relationship with Kevin. When he dies in a drunk-driving accident, Sawyer is secretly relieved. She’s free. Until she opens her locker and finds a mysterious letter signed by “an admirer” and printed with two simple words:

“You’re welcome.”

I also have a guest blog from Jayne about the relationship that inspired TRULY, MADLY, DEADLY.  Please be advised that it does contain descriptions of abuse.

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I WAS A TEENAGE STATISTIC

I never thought I’d be a teenage statistic. Even when it was happening to me, I wasn’t part of that group of those people. My situation was different because I was different and I wasn’t the kind of person they were talking about anyway. Those people had really bad abusive relationships. Mine wasn’t that bad. There was blood and tears and threats of death in theirs and…and then there was blood and tears and threats of death in mine. I was one of those people. I was a teenage statistic.

The Secret Side of Empty Blog Tour: Guest Post and Giveaway by Maria Andreu

THE SECRET SIDE OF EMPTY will be available March 11, 2014 and can be preordered now. 

Maria’s writing has appeared in Newsweek, The Washington Post and the Star Ledger.  Her debut novel, THE SECRET SIDE OF EMPTY, is the story of an “illegal” high school senior.  It was inspired by Maria’s own experiences as an undocumented teen.  Since becoming a citizen, Maria has run her own business and has become a soccer mom. She lives with her 13-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son in northern New Jersey.

ABOUT The Secret Side of Empty

It's the story of a teen girl that is American in every way except for in one very important way: on paper. She was brought to the U.S. as a baby without proper documentation, so she's "illegal." As the end of the safe haven of her high school days draw near, she faces an uncertain future. Full of humor and frustration and love, THE SECRET SIDE OF EMPTY speaks to the part in all of us that has felt excluded or has had a secret too scary to share. What M.T., the main character, finally discovers is the strength of the human spirit and the power that's unleashed when you finally live the truth.

After the guest post are details on the HUGE giveaway.

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Ten Things I Learned While Writing A YA Novel About an Illegal Immigrant


1. I hate the word “illegal.” I far prefer “undocumented. I mean, can a human being be illegal?

2. A lot of people think that, yes, a human being can be illegal. When my book was sold, I was profiled in the New York Daily News. I shared my own story about being brought over the U.S. as a baby and overstaying my visitor’s visa (unbeknownst to me, of course. I was too busy discovering my fingers). Someone posted a comment suggesting I should be subject to the Son of Sam law, the law that prevents people from profiting from their “crimes.” You know, like the guy who killed 6 people.

3. Most people are really nice.

4. When writing a book about an “issue” like immigration, you’ve got to forget about the issue and just write a story that is fun to read and makes people feel things.

5. Telling a big secret about yourself (like the fact that you were once undocumented) is terrifying.

6. Telling a big secret about yourself is incredibly freeing.

7. M.T., the main character of my book, is a girl in the same predicament I was, but is entirely different than I was. She’s got better calves (she bikes everywhere) and better business sense. Also, she’s braver than I am because she gets the courage to share who she really is way sooner than I did.

8. Writing a love story is fun.

9. Getting an agent is an excruciating process but its glorious when it finally happens.

10. Sometimes when the “worst” happens it’s the best. I had my heart set on another title for the book for all the years I was pitching it and writing it, only to have it get taken by another book in my genre toward the tail end of my journey. I was heart-broken. Then I came up with the title: The Secret Side of Empty and I fell in love instantly. Now I couldn’t imagine it being called anything else.  

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Maria is giving away two separate prizes on her tour, a $250 Amazon Gift Card AND a Kindle Fire.

1)      For a chance to win the $250 Amazon gift card, OR the Kindle Fire leave a comment on her blog post for that day. Winners will be randomly selected on September 30th.

In other words, all you have to do is comment below!  (Please leave a way for Maria to contact you in case you're one of the two lucky winners.)

Essay: "Living On" by Judy Willman

THE BOYS IN THE BOAT: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics by Daniel James Brown has made the recommended summer reads list for the New York Times and Parade.  I'm too far behind in my own summer reading to consider reviewing, but today I have an essay from Judy Willman, daughter of  crew team member Joe Rantz and inspiration for the book, that I think ya'll will enjoy.  "Living On" is about carrying on our parents' tradition and I meant to post it on Father's Day.  I didn't, probably for the same reason I forgot to buy wrapping for my Father's Day gift.

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LIVING ON

by Judy Willman

We all, to some extent, carry on in our parents’ tradition. I think of myself as my own person—and yet there are times that stop me short and bring tears to my eyes. These are the times when something I learned from my dad or something I did with him is suddenly and sharply drawn back into my memory. And, abruptly, there I am with him again—learning how to back braid a snap onto a rope, when to cut the hay field, how to windrow and stack it, how to rebuild a carburetor, or how to hand split cedar shakes. Or I find myself working with him to haul cedar logs down out of the mountains.

The funny thing is that I never questioned how he knew all that stuff…that odd, broad assorted set of skills. I just accepted, as a child, that it was natural that one’s father knew about pretty much everything. It wasn’t until a lot later that I began to piece together where all that knowledge came from.

My dad came of age during the Great Depression. His family abandoned him—left him utterly alone—when he was 15, and he had to learn to fend for himself to survive. And so he learned skills, he struggled, and he persevered. But somewhere along the way he also learned to see the beauty in doing things that he first learned simply as survival skills.

There was the personal pride he took in doing something well. There was an appreciation of the intoxicating smell of curing hay and the delicate rustling as it was hand raked into windrows. There was the sense of peace in the solitude and majesty of the forest where he sought out the fragrant western red cedar wood he loved so well. There was the thrill of finding rejected pieces that previous loggers had left behind as useless. There was the satisfaction of creating new uses for them.

 But where had it all come from? The pride in craftsmanship he learned from George Pocock—the English shell builder at the University of Washington where he had rowed in his college years. He applied it—as Pocock had—to his love of working with cedar. His extensive knowledge of car repair came from his dad. His knowledge of haying and cedar shake making and rope splicing came from the farmers he worked for in high school. His knowledge of the way things worked in the world came from his university chemistry and engineering and geology classes. And his knowledge of how to treat other people—how to trust and value those around you, came from the life lessons he learned during those years in crew.

And so now, as I approach 70, I sometimes find myself sitting on the porch looking out at our barn, roofed in hand split cedar shakes that I made and applied myself. Sometimes, when I let the horses into the barn, I pass the hand scythe with which I used to cut hay, still hanging on the tack room wall. Sometimes, my eye falls on one of the ropes dad taught me how to back braid a snap into. And each time I miss him…

But in many ways he is with me still. He is with me in the skills he taught me. He is with me when our kids come to visit, and the first thing they do is flop down in front of the woodstove, which he so dearly loved. He is with me when my grandson sends me a Facebook page on a new way to split firewood. He is with me when my daughter takes her oars in hand and climbs into her racing shell. All of us who owe our existence to him have a love of the things that take us back to him. All of us have learned the lessons he learned and taken them to heart. They breathe in all of us. We all are my dad living on.