Amazon Trolling?

Like most book bloggers, I crosspost my reviews to Amazon.  Today I noticed that four of my mini-reviews (posted here on Friday) had been commented on.  It's rare that one of my reviews gets a comment, much less four, so I went ahead and clicked over to each review.

First I read this comment on my review of THE VICIOUS DEEP:

"Horrible book...and mermaids are fiction, just like the moon landing."

Now that's just hilarious.  I laughed a little then went on to the next comment, figuring it would be something silly too.  The next one I read was left on SERAPHINA.

"I can't believe you gave this book 5 stars.  With its graphic references and violence, it is not suitable for children.  Peddling this smut to children is the same as peddling them cigarettes."

I still found this one funny, although I began to worry that dear Stefan Buckman might be serious.  Strangely, there are actually people who think like that.  But considering SERAPHINA isn't graphically violent or sexy, I assume the comment is parody.

Next comes this headscratcher on my review of OF POSEIDON:

"This book did not end abruptly, and your review is misleading on the product.  Emma spurns Galen's advances, as she should because he is a tyrannical jerk, and then she singlehandedly slays the acid-spewing chimera.  Bam!  Resolution."

This one is odd because it sounds like an actual comment on the book, but isn't even close to what happens.  So for those who haven't read the book, don't fear that you've just been spoiled.  There are no chimeras involved.

Finally, I clicked over to my review of ENCHANTED, curious to see what Stefan Buckman had to say this time.  But it wasn't Stefan Buckman!

"Liviania told me if I didn't leave a good review she would kill my family so i really liked this book"

And I don't even know what to do with that.  It's creepy, not funny.  I suppose I could deny the allegation.  In case it needs to be said, I have never threatened anyone to review a book well, and anyone includes William D Buckman and his family.  (Which I suppose would include Stefan Buckman?)  Aside from that, I just don't know.

But now I'm curious.  Have any of ya'll ever been trolled on Amazon?  What's the strangest comment you've received on a review?

Review: Viva Jacquelina!

Book 10 of the Bloody Jack Adventures
By L. A. Meyer
Available now from Harcourt (Houghton Mifflin)
Review copy

It's hard to believe that BLOODY JACK was published ten years ago.  When I picked it out from the library shelf because of the awesome pirate cover I had no idea what I was in for over the next decade.  Mary "Jacky" Faber went from being a street urchin to traveling all around the world in various occupations.

VIVA JACQUELINA! finds Jacky sent to Portugal, then Spain, to once again spy for British Intelligence.  She ends up modelling for Goya, tangling with the Spanish Inquisition, and traveling with a group of Roma.  Meanwhile, her true love Jaimy Fletcher is again far away.  He's in Burma, recovering from the events of THE MARK OF THE GOLDEN DRAGON.

Surprisingly, VIVA JACQUELINA! is welcoming to newcomers of the series.  Jacky spends most of the book alone, so the large cast isn't a hindrance.  That being said, I highly recommend beginning at BLOODY JACK and ready every book.  There's no reason to miss out on any part of Jacky's adventures.

Those familiar with the series know the formula.  Jacky gets herself into trouble, but manages to get out of it through cleverness, hard work, and a bit of luck.  She flirts but stays loyal to Jaimy.  Along the way, she charms or scandalizes everyone she meets as she cuts her swath through history.  But the formula works because Jacky charms the reader as well.

All of the Bloody Jack Adventures are rollicking, fast-paced reads.  VIVA JACQUELINA! is one of the slimmer entries, even at 368 pages.  And it felt slighter than some of the others, possibly because Jacky is isolated from most of the characters who have been around for all ten novels.  But it's good to have a breath of fresh air after the craziness that was THE MARK OF THE GOLDEN DRAGON.

VIVA JACQUELINA! will appeal to historical fiction fans, action fans, comedy fans, feminists, just about everybody I can think of.  There's a reason Jacky has been around for ten years.  Let's all give a big hand to L. A. Meyer for writing one of the greatest YA series around.  Here's to ten more years with Bloody Jack!

Movie Monday: The Campaign

I mentioned in my coverage of Hope Springs that my mother and I decided between seeing that or The Campaign.  This Saturday we decided to round out our dance card and see The Campaign.  We both enjoy Will Ferrell movies and the commercials were amusing, albeit in a stupid sort of way.

Here's the basic story:  Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) is the incumbent Congressman of District 14 in North Carolina who causes a couple of scandals during the election year.  The Motch Brothers (Dan Aykroyd, John Lithgow) want to install someone new so that they can sell part of the district to China ("insourcing") and thus they go to Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis), the sport who just wants his political father to be proud of him.

My mom's final verdict was that it had funny moments, but went too far on the lewd jokes.  She was particularly uncomfortable about the fact that many of those jokes involved young actors and that there were several kids (fourteen-ish) in the theater.  Honestly, I have to agree with her.  Maybe we're both prudes, but look:  Bestiality jokes are a hard sell at the best of times.  Bestiality jokes involving someone who looks twelve?  It doesn't even matter that it's supposed to be an uncomfortable comment.  It just doesn't work.  I think the defining moment of the sex jokes is when one of the characters says, "Gross."  This is a movie full of people saying and doing gross things, and one of those people in-character thinks it goes too far.  Maybe that should've been a sign.

Now for the good!  This is a terrific comedic cast.  Ferrell is possibly the most restrained he's been in ages and Galifianakis effortlessly captures Huggins' makeover from effete weirdo to polished politician.  Dan Aykroyd and John Lithgow aren't given much to do, but both of them do sly and dry perfectly.  Given equally little to do are all of the female characters.  That doesn't mean the women (none of whom I'm familiar with) don't do a great job.  Katherine LaNasa, as Rose Brady, is the thin, blonde political wife.  Sarah Baker as Mitzi Huggins is sweet and loves her husband, but she's going to do what's best for her children even if it hurts him.  Karen Maruyama kills as Mrs. Yao, the housekeeper who plays to her employer's racist longing for an extra $50 a month.  (When she takes her skills on to bigger and better things you can't help but cheer for her.  I'd watch an entire movie of this woman preying on the prejudices of old rich dudes.)

Dylan McDermott, bringing the homoeroticism

The best part of The Campaign, however, is the campaign managers.  This may be the first movie in which I liked Jason Sudeikis.  (I wanted to slap his smug face during Horrible Bosses.)  Here he provides the moral center of the film, the man who still believes Cam Brady cares about the issues.  He's the first, although not the last, of the characters to make a stand.  Then there's Dylan McDermott, who I have mentally filed as a generic pretty boy.  In The Campaign he's a blade of man, in looks and intensity.  He's the man's man who can effortlessly seduce the affable Huggins to the dark side.  Plus, his performance allows the movie to make one of its best jokes (during the credit sequence).

The Campaign shows flashes of an interesting storyline, timely satire, and empathetic characters.  But it never fails to shove its better qualities off a cliff in order to make a joke a thirteen-year-old boy would find puerile.  The people involved with this film know how to do dumb humor cleverly.  In The Campaign they just don't.  I've seen worse comedies, but sometimes it's harder to watch what really could have been a good movie.

Brief PSA:  Huggins is portrayed as crossing over into being truly ruthless when he calls the cops on a drunk-driving Brady.  Now, there's a little more to it than that, but let's be clear:  If you know a friend is driving drunk, call the cops on 'em.  Yes, it will cost your friend thousands of dollars.  But you know what?  A close friend's older brother is in a coma right now and expected to stay in that coma for the foreseeable future.  He has two small children.  But he made the incredibly stupid decision to drink and drive and he plowed into a semi.  A friend who hates you because you cost them money is a hell of a lot better than a friend who is comatose, dead, or who killed someone else who happened to be on the road at the wrong time.  And, y'know, don't drive drunk yourself.

Child Aid

Portland-based charity Child Aid works to improve literacy in over 50 villages in Guatemala, the country with the lowest literacy rate in Latin America.  The Reading for Life program reaches more than 8,500 children through the following activities (taken from site):

Each year, we help hundreds of teachers in remote villages more effectively teach children to read. We deliver tens of thousands of children’s books to neglected schools and libraries. We create and improve community libraries and train librarians to be promoters of reading in their villages. We provide scholarships, fund schools for children living in poverty, and support educational programs for indigenous girls. We also provide training, materials and support to local organizations that are working to improve educational opportunity for children.

You can help Child Aid in several ways, including volunteering, giving through work, and donating.  But I know everyone likes easy ways to help.  Thanks to a generous donor's pledge, $5 will be given to Child Aid for every Facebook like received between now and October 1st, up to $10,000.   Two seconds of your day is $5 for education.

Child Aid has a four-star rating from Charity Navigator.

Review: The Dark Unwinding

By Sharon Cameron
Available now from Scholastic Press
Review copy

THE DARK UNWINDING won the Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrator's Sue Alexander Award for Most Promising New Work in 2009.  Now, in 2012, everyone can read Sharon Cameron's debut and judge it for themselves.

Katherine Tulman is a young orphan living with her penny-pinching Aunt Alice and cousin Robert.  Then news comes that her uncle might be insane and squandering Robert's inheritance.  Katherine is dispatched through the moors to Stranwyne, the family estate, in order to bear witness against her uncle and have him institutionalized.  But there she finds a village of hundreds supported by Mr. Tully's inventions, all of them hostile to her since she's there to eliminate their jobs.  But if Katherine doesn't ensure biddable young Robert's inheritance, there will be nothing and no one to support her after her aunt's death.  She can only protect the inhabitants of Stranwyne if she sacrifices her own future.

THE DARK UNWINDING is a terrific Gothic novel.  There are mysterious noises and strange happenings.  Katherine might be insane herself.  She's surrounded by people with secrets and agendas who seek to heighten her confusion.  There are two boys, one studious, one unsuitable.  There's a mute little boy with a rabbit who may be trying to warn Katherine of danger.  There's a cook who can't be trusted.  And there's nutty Uncle Tully, with his wondrous and futuristic inventions, including clockwork replicas of the dead.

My main complaint about THE DARK UNWINDING is that the middle sags a little.  Katherine's inner conflict over whether and what to report to her aunt goes on and on.  She can't see a solution, but she's just too caring to ever convince the reader that she'd throw Stranwyne under the bus to save herself.  Yes, nine hundred people's lives hang in the balance, but there's very little tipping back and forth of the scales.  (Mary Brown, who becomes Katherine's maid, sensibly ignores Katherine when she talks about putting Mr. Tully away.  Mary knows what's what.)  It's not till the last third of the book that something happens to raise the stakes.

THE DARK UNWINDING is for fans of Gothic novels, with their blending of creepy atmosphere, suspense, and romance.  THE DARK UNWINDING is being presented as steampunk, but I wouldn't give it that label.  Uncle Tully's gasworks are certainly more advanced than what actually existed during the Napoleonic wars, but that doesn't the setting a past powered by steam.  It's more a quirky, almost magical-realist detail.  The romance angle is being pushed hard too, but this really is Katherine's story.  She must decide who she is and who she wants to be and forge the future of Stanwyne accordingly.  She's a heroine to admire.